when to tell people and family you are pregnant pregnancy

Everyone told me in my first pregnancy that I should not,  and that you simply don’t announce (or tell people) that you are pregnant within the first 3 months of finding out.  Basically the rule of thumb is that you don’t tell people during the first trimester.  Why do we have to wait three months?  Well the “logic” behind that is that a lot can go wrong and the pregnancy is fragile. 

My problem with this whole silly rule is;  You are not supposed to tell people you are pregnant, because “something might go wrong”.  Lets’ back track and address the elephant in the room.  The “something“ that might go wrong refers to a miscarriage. Basically, if something goes wrong, you have embarrassed yourself, and you have already told people, so is this IT?  I think this mindset is absolutely disgusting.  It is a shame that women are expected to keep this a “secret” to spare everyone the embarrassment and to spare other people discomfort should something go wrong.    

In my opinion, if you find out you are pregnant and you want to share this news, you do it.  You tell who you feel you want to tell and you can always add, “its only 4 weeks now, but I am excited”.  That way, they will know exactly what is happening because you have communicated it. What is more important is that you CAN share your joy.  As humans we are deeply interwoven with other humans on an emotional level, well, we should be. Sharing joy and sadness is what makes a life.   Joy shared is multiplied, sadness shared is halved.  If something does go wrong, you don’t have to go into a dark place and mourn by yourself.  If you tell people, they will know what is going on, you can talk about it freely and you find so much comfort in the support you get from everyone around you.   We are too proud as women, we have to be strong and suffer alone.  

Telling Your  Children about your Pregnancy 

Telling your future baby’s siblings?  I think the same thing applies but is even more important that you do share as soon as you know.  You cannot “spare” your kids disappointment in life, or sadness.  You cannot rescue them from bad experiences and wrap your child’s feelings in cotton wool.  Tell your kids what is going on.  It is not fair to their emotional development to “spare” them the things that happen, good or bad.  It’s part of the deal if you are part of the family, you are all in, good or bad.  The lessons you deprive from your children play an intricate role in how they develop as human beings in a later stage in life.  How they handle difficult things, how they manage their emotions, how they learn to deal with other’s emotions, how they support each other when something goes wrong, how they raise THEIR kids when they become parents.  

Use your own personal discretion to announce this very exciting news.  Please for heaven’s sake don’t listen to primitive rules about “when the timing is right”.  The fact of the matter is, what happens during your pregnancy, you cannot control.  Anything can go wrong at any time.  The thing is, you can’t go waiting around for things to go wrong, for the “other shoe to drop”  If you want to share your news do it.  Life is exciting live it.  Don’t wait. 

On that note, I have some news to share….. click to find out more 🙂

PS. to all the ladies who are following the Fit Working Mom Bikini Body diet, you can follow week one if you are in your first trimester.  If you would like to start on the program the link to the diet and program is here

Written by Brigitte Willers
I am a working mom from Cape Town. I am passionate about fitness, all things self help and DIY. I like to figure it out and share as I go along, after all we are all just trying to figure this life out. I am all about women helping each other to excel whether its in work, play, or health and fitness. I am a qualified with the Health and Fitness Professional association, I have chosen not to use it as a career path but rather to help women achieve their goals via this blog. My work/business is Project Management in the FMCG and Entertainment Sector (www.theprojectlead.co.za) My true passion is music, nature, animals, helping others and most importantly my family. I am quite a philosophical mess (on the light side) and on a great adventure of finding my true self, like most of us (except maybe mermaids and unicorns because they know exactly who they are) Why don't you join me on this exciting journey and we can do it together, I promise I will make you laugh and you won't get bored.